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Rotten Films 101- Part 2

 My suggestions for bad movies that are fun to watch with your bad movie buff friends (Part 2)

The list below is NOT complete and I do not attempt to name every bad film—just the ones I’ve seen.  I might add a third list later.  And, if you can think of a movie that you think I should add, let me know. 

To be included on the list, the film has to be fun to watch due to its ineptness.  Usually, watching these films with like-minded friends is a major plus!  Boring films like The English Patient and The Conqueror are not eligible nor are most big-budget flops like John Carter or Heaven’s Gate unless they reach a certain level of awfulness.  Also, while I have heard that the Turkish version of Star Wars is horrible, if I cannot find it subtitled or dubbed I will not include it on the list.

My first list gave you 40 bad but hilarious bad films—below are 40 more:

  1. Night of the Lepus*—Giant killer bunnies!  ‘Nuff said!
  2. Santa Claus Versus the Martians—The Martians kidnap Santa because Martian kids are bored.  As you watch the film, you can see why!
  3. Ted Mikels—He’s a rare case where over time his films get worse and worse.  His recent ones are so bad and cheap and dull, I won’t even include them on this list.  Try his older films such as Corpse Grinders, Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things and Blood Orgy of the She-Devils*.  One thing for sure…Ted does know how to pick great titles!
  4. Going Overboard—A very, very, VERY early and horrible Adam Sandler film.  And you thought Jack and Jill was his worst!
  5. The Underground Comedy Movie—Starring ‘Slapchop’ Vince Offer.
  6. Anything by Herschell Gordon Lewis, but especially Monster a Go-Go*.
  7. Troll 2—Not in any way related to the movie Troll, despite the title!  One documentary claims this is THE worst film ever made.  Nope…thought it is very bad.
  8. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain—Little kids take on evil adults.  Why didn’t the adults just shoot the kids and be done with it?!
  9. Howard the Duck—A very perplexing and perverted film!  The naked duck scene is just very, very wrong.  Inexplicably, the executive producer is George Lucas!
  10. The Giant Claw—Although it looks like a bad Japanese giant monster film, it’s a home-grown giant stupid monster film.
  11. The Creeping Terror—Starring and directed by Vic Savage!
  12. The Last Movie—Dennis Hopper and assorted friends get stoned and make a movie.  It’s a lot worse than it sounds.
  13. The Terror of Tiny Town*--The first ALL-midget western…and probably the last all-midget western!
  14. The Trial of Billy Jack*--The scene where the National Guard opens fire on the little boy with a hook for a hand while he’s cradling a bunny should NOT be funny…but it is!
  15. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls*--Not made by the folks who made Valley of the Dolls.
  16. Valley of the Dolls—Not as funny as the fake sequel above, but worth seeing due to some amazingly overwrought performances.
  17. The Babe Ruth Story—I almost expected Babe to walk on water in this ridiculously over-the-top supposed bio-pic.
  18. Zaat—Annoying, loud and amazingly bad.
  19. Can’t Stop the Music*--Starring Steve Guttenberg, Bruce Jenner, Valerie Perrine and the Village People.  Directed, oddly, by Nancy Walker—the Bounty Paper Towels lady!
  20. Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster—While not really Frankenstein, you just need to see it to believe it.
  21. Mesa of Lost Women—They should have stayed lost!
  22. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band*--Hilarious from start to finish.  While I like the music of some of the folks in the movie, the overall film looks like Liberace was the set designer!  And who would have chosen George Burns and Steve Martin to fill in to sing Beatles tunes?!
  23. Teenagers From Outer Space—Well, they’re actually NOT teens.  Look for the fully articulated skeleton right from a lab—complete with wires and sawed in half skull!
  24. Van Helsing—A lot of folks loved this film but my daughter and I marveled at the film’s bad writing—proving special effects alone cannot make a good movie.
  25. Maniac—Cheap, cheap, cheap.  It makes Ed Wood’s films look like big-budget masterpieces!
  26. A*P*E—This is a man-in-gorilla-suit ripoff of King Kong.  At one point in this awful film, the monster gives the audience the finger!!  I wish the audience could have returned the favor to the filmmakers who made this mess! *
  27. The Jazz Singer (1980)—This time, Neil Diamond plays a nice Jewish kid who wants to sing Rock but his daddy (Laurence Olivier) is intent that he should be a lousy actor…no, I mean a cantor in the synagogue. 
  28. Barbarella—This is another one that some folks actually LIKE.  Hilarious costumes and a nice imitation of a zombie by John Phillip Law.
  29. Duel in the Sun—A big-budget film with a fine cast…and laughable characters—especially the one played by Jennifer Jones as a Mexican she-devil!
  30. Manos:The Hands of Fate—Managed to receive a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes!
  31. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny*—Barry Mahon managed to make a Christmas film WORSE than Santa Claus Versus the Martians!
  32. Son of the Mask—It actually made me wish they’d used Jim Carrey!
  33. Cool as Ice—Stars Vanilla Ice….need I say more?!
  34. It’s Pat—the Movie—Painfully unfunny from start to finish.
  35. Popeye—How Robin Williams STILL managed to have a film career after this one is a question for the ages!
  36. Dune—David Lynch’s film has a lot of supporters but far, far more who couldn’t stand this grotesque and confusing mess of a film.  I spent the entire film explaining what was happening to my friends because they hadn’t read the book.
  37. Neighbors—this might just be the worst film by any Saturday Night Live cast members—and that says a lot!
  38. Toys—Proof that Robin Williams has a pact with Satan.  After all, after making Popeye and Toys he STILL is a Hollywood star and is adored by millions!!
  39. The Grinch—Not only is the film unfunny and annoying, it completely reverses the meaning of the original story.  In this brainless film, the Whos are evil and the Grinch is trying to teach them that Christmas is NOT about commercialism!  What’s more amazing is that Dr. Seuss’ widow claims he would have approved of this dumb, bloated and grating kids film!!
  40. Nothing But Trouble—Another horrible film by ex-SNL cast member.

*This indicates a movie that is particularly bad and really, really enjoyable.  Sort of like the Holy Grails of bad movies.

Article by Lead Entertainment Writer and Film Critic, Martin Hafer

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